Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
