i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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