Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
