Quick, to the slutcave!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize