He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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