i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
