official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
