Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
