my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
