I just saw a hot homeless man
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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