I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
