i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
