as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
