I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
