Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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