So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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