I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
