I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
