I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
