Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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