Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
