her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
