He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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