You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
