I got chris browned last night
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
