Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
