We won't sleep together?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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