Betty ford says i'm here all night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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