we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
