I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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