Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just forgot I was standing up.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
