Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
