Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
