I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
