plz talk dirty to me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
