stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
