I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
