I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
