I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
