How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
