should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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