allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
