Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
How's work?
Spinning.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
