Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
