How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
