Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
