is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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