his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
