no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize