you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
