no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm way too hungover for life right now
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
