your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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