Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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