Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
