i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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