Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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