...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
