5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
