he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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